don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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