Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
