I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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