saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize