i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
