Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
