dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
