Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Life without a bra equals bliss.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
