It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I yelled at your uterus for you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
