His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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