you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
