when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
