What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize