I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My vagina is officially offended.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
