so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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