Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
