so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
