Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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