I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
