you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
God, I missed his penis.
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