he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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