Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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