You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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