gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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