If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
