how can u be prego again
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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