Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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