I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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