the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
