i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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