I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
