Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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