Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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