FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
