so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
