I cut my penus on the lid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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