Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The Olympian is in my bed
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
