I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I cockslap morals
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
