I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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