Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
