I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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