You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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