If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
