She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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