arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
