he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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