Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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