Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
