we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
