Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
