the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
