you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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