i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
