We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
