you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
