and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
