Pappa wants mamma naked
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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