I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
