That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You smell like stripper and shame
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
