Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
