So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think your dad took our porno
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
