I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
